CHASE (The Heartbreak Club Book 1) Read online

  I tried to watch the soap and then the reality show about some kind of housewives, that became funny rather than serious. The ridiculous situations the women were in because of some silly misunderstanding, it was silly. And I kept watching because it was the kind of thing that allowed me to be silly and ridiculous. Kind of like the way it felt being with Chase. Like you were finally home.

  Chase

  Trying to focus on Frank speaking was like watching a golf ball rolling down the hill and going right over the hole instead of dipping in. That wasn’t what you want after spending the past two hours listening to Verna talk about policy in the conference hall. Everyone else had already left and it was just the two of us in the hall, and Frank was already on his second drink.

  “Your mind is on something else, Cooper.”

  Shit. Frank was the last person I wanted thinking I wasn’t completely invested in our conversation. Especially after everything that happened that morning, I had already alienated Verna and DeKiray. I couldn’t afford to lose Frank.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  “Kid, you should have told me that. No wonder you’ve been distracted all day.”

  It wasn’t exactly a lie. “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

  “Is that the only thing bothering you?”

  I knew I couldn’t hide from Frank for long, but I had hoped to do it for a while longer. Well, that dream had ended. “I do have some personal issues I’m dealing with.”

  “What kind of personal issues?”

  “Is it something to do with your family?”

  “No, Frank. They’ve been… well, quiet.”

  “I know that bothers you sometimes, we all get bitter when it comes to family, Cooper. Trust me, it’s not just you.”

  “It’s not that.”

  “Hmm. So, then it’s a girl.”

  Did this guy have x-ray vision? How could he possibly know that? He couldn’t have known unless he had a way to look at my private thoughts. “Frank, she’s not just a girl. She’s the girl.”

  Frank smiled in that casual way of his and drank his whiskey. “Interesting.”

  “I sound silly, I know.”

  “No, not silly. Just fascinating. How long have you known her?”

  “Not long.”

  “Hmm. I’d like to meet her.”

  That was the oddest request Frank had ever made. “Sure.” I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t even know if she was going to be around when I went back. We finished our drinks and I finally called Stanton.

  The thought of going back to her, kept me on edge all the way to the hotel.

  Blayne

  The music was loud because it had to be because I was dancing.

  The only light in the room came from the TV because I could never dance in fully lit rooms. When did my Daytime TV turn to a self-sufficient dance party, I wasn’t sure but I was a little too hopped up on wine and dancing sounded like the kind of thing that would free me.

  At one point, I slowed down and felt someone’s breath on my neck. I froze. My heart must have been beating at about a hundred miles per hour. It was threatening to break free of the confines of my chest. I was afraid he could hear it. When I turned around, a pair of gorgeous blue eyes were staring at me with a cocky grin. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

  “Hi,” I tried to speak and he smiled again.

  “Don’t stop on my account,” he said and I felt embarrassed that he’d seen me in that way, dancing and I wasn’t even that drunk. Oh God, that cologne, the way he smelled, I wanted to place my hand on his shoulder and kiss his neck. No, Blayne. Get a hold of yourself. I walked up to the sofa and poured myself another glass.

  Chase turned on the lights but kept them dim. I lowered the volume on the music so I could hear him talk.

  “Sorry, I was late,” he said, setting down his keys and wallet on the table. He saw the open wine bottle and brought himself a glass. He poured himself a drink and helped himself to one of the chocolate squares. He looked a little disheveled, but that only made him seem more rugged. I could see a slight growth of beard instead of the clean-shaven look he had that morning. It only added to his appeal. “I tried to get out of the meeting but in the end, it was better to just get it done with so I wouldn’t have it hanging over my head tomorrow.”

  “Do you always take things head on?”

  “Do you always run away from things?”

  “Touché.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “No, you’re right,” I said. “I do run from things, until they get away from me. So, then I run even faster.”

  “Look, Blayne. Nobody’s perfect. We all have things that we wish we could handle better.”

  “I don’t think you have anything,” I said. “I don’t buy it.”

  “So, you think this ‘picture of perfection’ just happens, Kitten?”

  That name again. I swallowed more wine.

  “You tell me,” I said.

  “Trust me, Blayne. My life is neither easy nor perfect. And there’s plenty I’m running away from. You’re not alone.”

  “I don’t feel alone.”

  “You don’t?”

  I looked up at him. “Not really.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

  I didn’t tell him the reason I wasn’t alone was him. I didn’t think that would have this much confidence being alone without him. And that wasn’t a conversation I was about to have with him anytime soon. “I guess.”

  He raised his glass. “Here’s to us both finding better ways than running!”

  I touched his glass with mine and it launched us both into yet another staring match, that broke only when Chase stood and grabbed my hand. “Get up!”

  I stood and set my wineglass down on the table. He pulled me along with him until we reached the terrace. The place was huge. It was majestic. Just looking down at the millions of lights scattered throughout the city and the various skyscrapers and buildings surrounding the hotel, it was breathtaking. “I practically live in this suite,” he said. “They haven’t given it out to anyone since the past two years. I can’t seem to let go of it because I’m afraid someone else will own this view.”

  “Do you have rooms in every hotel in New York?”

  “I have several places that I live in, yes.”

  “Several places you live in,” I said. “Just not one you can call home.”

  He looked at me like I’d just told him that the tooth fairy was real. There was something strange in his eyes, a look that I hadn’t seen before, a kind of longing. “Look at you,” he said. “Being all insightful!”

  I knew he was trying to make light of it so he could dodge my question. But that was okay. I didn’t need him to be anything more than good company that night. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

  “That’s fine,” he said. “And maybe you’re on to something.”

  “First, I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about! And second, Chase if you want a home this bad, what’s stopping you?”

  “I don’t think having a home has anything to do with a concrete shell.”

  “No, it’s what’s inside the shell,” I said. “And that’s what you need to work on. You need to find that person, the one that will make it a home for you.”

  He looked at me and smiled. “Yeah, I’m working on it.”

  I was getting uncomfortable again. I didn’t know what I was doing here with him, I should have been trying to get away from him while I still could. But all I could think about was that mouth, and the way it looked…

  “I want to kiss you,” he said. I thought perhaps he was joking but when I looked at the solemn look on his face, I realized he was dead serious. “Now.”

  “Chase…” but his mouth quieted me as his lips descended on mine and we were locked in a passionate kiss that went beyond our bodies and reached our souls. We were no longer in control, neither of us could handl
e being that close to one another. We were losing ourselves in each other, it was strange. When he broke off, the hungry look in his eyes had me throbbing. He grabbed my hand in a firm grip and without a word, took me inside and I followed without protest. When we were in the TV room, he pulled me toward him and his hands were on my hips and he was pulling me closer, his lips still searching me out. I clung to him and ran my hands all over him, trying to get more of him and even more…

  “I love the way you smell,” he said. “I love the way your body feels, I love everything about you, Kitten.”

  I didn’t know how to tell him that I was going crazy.

  The touch wasn’t enough.

  Nothing was enough anymore. I was in heaven and the way Chase’s fingers traced my face and the way his tongue searched out the inside of my mouth took me to a place where there was no going back. In the heat of passion, we took off our clothes and Chase carried me to the bed in his arms.

  He placed me down on the bed and his eyes were still holding me in a trance. I was a captive to his gaze and there was no escape. He climbed on top of me. His weight, though heavy, felt pleasant. His fingers moved on my breast, over the lacy fabric and squeezed. Every synapse in my brain got fired up. His hand lowered the lace from one nipple and he placed his tongue over it and I wasn’t even on this earth anymore. He used his fingers to gently fondle my breast while his other hand freed the other side from its fabric confines, and he used his tongue to go over the other side. He came up and kissed my mouth but his one hand continued to play with my breast and then he looked into my eyes. “You’re mine, Kitten. You’re all mine.”

  I knew he meant it. I knew that I was playing a dangerous game because of the things he was saying, but I was too far gone to stop.

  This wasn’t like me. This wasn’t like me at all. But maybe for one night I could be better off by being someone other than me. Maybe this encounter would finally take the last bits of Nick out of my system. I needed escape and Chase was the perfect man to do it with. he must have hundreds of one-night stands with diverse women, and I wouldn’t even be in his memory come tomorrow. It was good because that was exactly what I needed. I needed someone who could handle not seeing me again.

  Chase was a dream; a stunningly captivating, gorgeous, dream.

  It didn’t occur to me that I could be the only one he called Kitten. It didn’t occur to me that I was thinking of having a one-night stand with a man who had fallen heads over heels in love with me and was willing to do anything to make it happen.

  I could feel Chase’s erection through his pants. For some reason, it felt like an assurance of his attraction toward me and I liked it. It made me feel like I was special. That he wasn’t the only one who was causing the other to be horny and excited.

  If it was anyone else, I would never have gone through with it. But there was something different about Chase, I always felt that. He knew how to coax me out of my shell and how to bring out that side of me, the wanton, hungering, insatiable woman who was sensual and wasn’t afraid of it. “God, you’re beautiful Kitten.”

  I felt him lowering his head to my navel, and he kissed me gently and ran a tongue over my bellybutton and I squirmed. His hands felt for my hips and lowered my panties, just enough for him to be able to place his mouth on top of the thin line of waxed hair leading to my wetness. He lingered for a while, his hands playful and teasing, until he lowered my panties down my legs and got rid of them. He spread my legs wide and his tongue started working its magic, and I was already wet but the longer he stayed the wetter I became. He made me come a few times and I couldn’t take it anymore. But he kept at it until his teasing became torturous and I wanted more. I was about to say something when I felt him stop.

  He came up and kissed me and I could taste myself on him, but it was okay because it was him. “I want you, Kitten.”

  His voice was a little gruff, drenched with his arousal. It was the most sensual sound I’d ever heard. I want you, Kitten. I wanted to tell him that he could have me. that I wanted nothing more than to get to the end of the climax that had been building inside me ever since I’d first seen him outside that Chinese bistro.

  “I want you too, Chase.” I shouldn’t have said his name. not in this way. I might never forget the way it sounded from my mouth in the deep throes of passion. I might never forget the way he responded. He fished out a condom from his pants’ pocket and tore up the foil. I wondered if he had anticipated this with me, or if he was used to carrying condoms. It worried me for a second that he might think of me as a slut. But I was beyond caring. The ship had sailed already, now it was time to dock it. out of shyness, I didn’t see him when he started undressing completely. I saw him, I just didn’t look in that direction. I don’t think he noticed because he was busy trying to look at me. He leaned in for a kiss when he was about to enter me. I raked my fingers over his naked back and pulled him closer when it started to hurt a little. He stopped moving and gazed into my eyes. “Relax, Kitten. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  Once I did relax, he was finally able to enter me. And all I felt was him, and me, being filled by him so completely, the way he kissed me in between those passionate thrusts and deepened my pleasure. I have no words to define what it felt like. No words could come close to what it felt like being with him. It was unreal. And magical.

  When he finally came inside me, I was close to another climax and it happened when he thrust a few times. That last one was somehow better than the previous ones. Probably because it was with him.

  Afterward, we both lay in bed exhausted.

  He put his arm around me and pulled me closer.

  “Are you okay, Kitten?”

  “I think so.”

  “If there’s anything on your mind, you can tell me.”

  Of course, there were things on my mind, but I couldn’t tell him. Besides, I wanted to enjoy his company for at least one night. I didn’t know what might happen the next day. I felt like I didn’t know myself anymore.

  Had I made a terrible mistake? Only time will tell.

  The only thing I could do tonight was lie closer to him.

  Chase

  Waking up to an empty bed was not what I expected after everything that happened. There was no sign of her anywhere. I was about to start panicking when I saw the note.

  Something was scrawled on the mirror decorating the wall behind the bedside table. She had written on it with lipstick or something, it was a dark shade of red. The room still smelled like her.

  “Thanks for last night,” said the note.

  Below the large characters was a line of smaller ones that said, “I took some money from your wallet, I hope you don’t mind. I’ll send it back to you, if you text me your address.”

  The phone.

  I remembered that she had a phone now. I dialed her number but it went straight to voicemail. I was filled with a sudden rage. I set my phone on the bedside table and grabbed an empty glass and filled it with bourbon. I knocked it back all in one go and threw the glass against the wall.

  It crashed into a million little pieces.

  A few of the sharp pieces were stuck in my arm. I took them out, one by one, with shaking hands.

  How could she do it?

  How could she leave me like that?

  Didn’t she know what she meant to me? Didn’t she know that she was hurting me? I had suffered without her for so long, I couldn’t keep suffering anymore.

  She could run from her past, and she could run from her happiness, but she couldn’t run from me. I won’t make it easy on her.

  She will come back to me.

  She was my kitten. She was my everything. I had to make her see that. I had to make her see that we belonged.

  But first, I needed to protect her.

  I called Carl and told him what was going on and he assured me he would keep an eye on her. There were only so many places she could go. I tried calling her but stupid voicemail again.

  So, I left her a t
ext. “Where are you?”

  The text sat in my inbox for a long time before I finally got a response. “I’m okay, Chase. No need to worry.”

  Was she on some mission to piss me off?

  I wrote her another text, asking her whereabouts but she just shrugged it off again. And then she started talking about the money she took, and that she was going to return it. But didn’t she realize that money meant nothing to me.

  You should have told her.

  Every second that you keep it a secret, you’re placing her life in danger.

  I can’t.

  I can’t do it, not yet.

  She will hate me.

  Then why are you making such a big show of protecting her, when in truth you’re only being selfish.

  There’s nothing I won’t do to protect her.

  I had a headache that felt like my head was about to explode.

  My phone rang and I grabbed it too fast, hoping it was her but it was Carl. “What is it, Carl?”

  “She’s walking into a motel now.”

  “Which one?”

  “The Regency Sea.”

  “I’ve never even heard of it.”

  “This place is shady, Chase.”

  What is wrong with her! Why did she choose to be in some shady motel than in this suite with me? Was she out of her mind?

  “Chase?”

  I used two fingers and a thumb to squeeze my forehead. But the headache just got worse. “I need you to keep an eye on her,” I said. “Just don’t let her see you. I don’t want her to think that I might be following her.”

  “I’ll be careful. Anything else?”

  “Did you get that thing I told you to get?”

  “I did. There’s a box in one of the drawers in the bedroom.”

  “At the loft?”

  “At the hotel. It’s in a discreet, ordinary looking box. The cleaning service wouldn’t be tipped off.”

  “Thank you.”

  I was about to end the conversation when Carl spoke up. “Chase. Be careful.”